Someone once wrote a sentence on Twitter that stuck with me for many years. And I keep thinking about it, and I have especially done so over the last couple of months. I can’t quite quote them here, but it was something along the lines that we, especially as parents, have a responsibility to take care of ourselves and do the best we can to stay healthy. It was something that I didn’t really think about until then, even though I already was a parent for a couple of years at that point.
Of course, we do have a responsibility to keep our children healthy. But it doesn’t end with their well-being. Part of them feeling well is you’re doing well. Even if they don’t need you need you at some point, they still need you. Depending on how close you are, this will come in different intensities. You might see each other every day and literally rely on each other’s support for daily tasks like taking care of the grandchildren, or you might be worlds apart for one reason or another. But I’m convinced that there’s always a level of needing you.
And I guess you don’t really notice it when they’re little. At that point you just focus on them — making sure they eat well, sleep well, and grow well. Your own routine probably feels secondary or even optional. The older they get the more you realize that you’re not just raising them. You’re also trying to give a — hopefully good — example how to do this thing called life.
Another observation is the situation about how this needing you comes in waves. At first they need you a lot, then less and less. But eventually, life has a way of bringing people back together in different forms of dependency.
For me, I think it mostly comes down to the most pragmatic angle to it. The longer you stay healthy, the longer you can actively participate in their lifes. Not just as a spectator, but as a helping hand, an open ear, a travel companion, or, eventually, as a babysitter. That would be great.